Facing Fear…a personal trek

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10

We all have fears…be it physical or emotional fears…everyone has them. Not everyone lets their fears dominate their lives though. But I have been one of those that have.

 
I hate doctor’s offices….and my blood pressure lets me know just how much! It’s called “White Coat Syndrome”. You’ve heard of it before…when you are in your own surroundings your pressure is just fine, thank you! But stepping inside that doctor’s office….it shoots up sky high! And it’s been like this for quite a few years, and I couldn’t figure out why. Why do I get so nervous going to the doctor?
With so many articles and news shows featuring breast cancer, ovarian cancer, heart disease…I could go on and on….those yearly exams are just something women cannot ignore! And the last 7 years, I did ignore them…..or at least tried to. But something happened this year….I knew that I was a fool if I didn’t treat my body the way I should. I eat well and take all of my vitamins…but those tests are given for a reason. A good reason. I knew…somehow…that my fear was more than just being afraid of these tests….a lot more. It came to me that maybe it was more of a spiritual nature. I think that God was gently showing me that maybe I really didn’t trust Him. Maybe….going further….I really didn’t believe Him. Maybe I didn’t believe that He is Who He says He is….how did I get all this from not wanting to go to the doctor?

 
To put it the way I saw it…..I was afraid if I went to the doctor and had these tests, they would find out something was wrong (really silly!!). I couldn’t have been able to face that. But wait, I am a Christian. Christians trust God, right?  They trust Him for everything. Well….y e s…….but. I’ll trust God if I know before hand what the outcome is……!! That is really absurd! But that’s the way so many of us “trust” God. We need to have some control over things. That is what I faced this year. I wanted so much to confront those fears and really, really trust God and only Him for the outcome. And just abandon my control once and for all…..and just let Him.

 
I made my appointments for a pap smear, mammogram and just a complete physical. I dreaded it. I was afraid. But I really wanted to do this. And I asked God for His courage…..Well, my tests came back normal! It was really a gift to me as I will never ignore them again….but more than that….it was such freedom. But you are probably asking, what if they came back that I had cancer? What then? Would I still have this freedom. I would hope that I would…because relinquishing my control and giving God that full dominion over me gives me that sense of freedom.
These various scriptures give me so much comfort in facing my fears. I do believe God that He is Who He says He is….and that He will do what He says He will do!

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. ~Psalm 27:3

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. ~Psalm 34:4

He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. ~Psalm 112:7

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared. ~Proverbs 3:24-26

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10